This almost seems like a parody. First of all, it starts with "I was glad to help the children" and concludes with "but I'm shutting it down because they were jerks."

And, personally, I would just assume people would mark my "thank you" follow-up as spam in high numbers. I would further be shocked if a high percentage of my Santa Claus users either read the Help or signed up for paid services.

Is he kidding?