I think, in this case, being confrontational is the right thing to do (though I don't think you should have to engage in a confrontation if you don't want to).
Most people (despite the arguments here, which are mostly about either semantics or arcane ethical points) think that the way the guy you described behaved is unacceptable. You're one of us, a hacker, and you don't deserve to be treated like that. I can't imagine you'd get anything other than a positive association from standing up for the rights of hackers to get on and live their lives free of that kind of harassment and bullying.
I don't really understand why people don't mention this more often: the kind of bullying that women in tech receive now is pretty much the kind of bullying that male geeks got from non-geeks twenty years ago. It's not really anti-women so much as it's anti-people-being-geeks; society at large may have (grudgingly!) accepted male geeks, but female geeks are still getting abuse for being more interested in computers or science or whatever than in what society thinks they 'should' be doing. As such, this affects all of us and we all need to be pretty damn clear that we won't stand for it.
> I think, in this case, being confrontational is the right thing to do (though I don't think you should have to engage in a confrontation if you don't want to).
I can't agree with that. The situation she describes is where she's acting as a representative of her company, and anything she does is as the face of the company, rather than as a person.
The decision to be confrontational about it is her company's decision, not hers.
I am absolutely empowered, as an individual or on behalf of my company, to tell this guy he is an ass. Or to ask the conference organizers to boot him. But I didn't feel like doing either. I didn't even cross my mind at the time.
It's kind of like when a crazy person yells at you on the street. Yeah, you could tell them to stop, because it makes you uncomfortable, but that would require even more interaction, and they'd probably do something to make you even more uncomfortable. Easier to walk away.
At least by sharing it here some people can learn from the example of what not to do :)
Most people (despite the arguments here, which are mostly about either semantics or arcane ethical points) think that the way the guy you described behaved is unacceptable. You're one of us, a hacker, and you don't deserve to be treated like that. I can't imagine you'd get anything other than a positive association from standing up for the rights of hackers to get on and live their lives free of that kind of harassment and bullying.
I don't really understand why people don't mention this more often: the kind of bullying that women in tech receive now is pretty much the kind of bullying that male geeks got from non-geeks twenty years ago. It's not really anti-women so much as it's anti-people-being-geeks; society at large may have (grudgingly!) accepted male geeks, but female geeks are still getting abuse for being more interested in computers or science or whatever than in what society thinks they 'should' be doing. As such, this affects all of us and we all need to be pretty damn clear that we won't stand for it.